THIS WEEK I WENT THROUGH my library in my girls room. I think I have 1000 books that I have collected on my 23 years of living. I love books and specially-psychology books. Has sometimes put half of my summer salary on books. My teenage years were marked by the daily quest to find my authentic identity. I got a real "aha" experience when I read Wayne Dyer `s popular self-help books about finding "Your inner self" and "Reach for the stars". This marked the beginning of many years of an endless search with the help of self-help literature. These books succeeded one another at breakneck speed. When I didnt find the right answer in the books I tried to settle me abroad. Perhaps the real, genuine Angelica would turn up after six tough months in London, or after six months with street children in Brazil?
After an endless battle, I did the following. I stopped reading self-help books, I realized it was better to just relaxe and to see what what would come to me instead of constantly searching high and low for experiences that could make me wiser in my life journey. The secret was easier than I thought.
The real me showed up when I got the right people around me. Those who respected me, were loyal and were genuine. Those who allowed my authenticity to come up. Those who loved me. I am in this period of my life so happy that I met them and have them, they are a big part of my development. Its people from the past, from other countries, from east and from west.
I'm still looking but I have found a great piece of myself because of those people. I feel a different harmony than when I was under 20. Now I look at aging from a new perspective and look forward to see what I find in myself the next few years ..
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